Unique Perception

When it rains it fucking pours. Not only literally right now, it's been raining on and off for a week now, but in my life as well.

Interesting that quite consistently throughout my life when things are looking up and start to build momentum another part of my life completely hits a brick wall and falls apart. I seem to be lacking some of the common sense skills needed to succeed in life (or maybe just relationships) but I'm doing the best I can with what I have. Stating the obvious here, any smart person would continue focusing on the part of their life that is positive and building momentum. The problem is that I will be broken and spend time mourning the loss (or possible loss, don't really know yet) in my life and the momentum will have faded. I've worked really hard to not become a complete cynic but this might just push me over the line. It may be time to become a recluse and just focus on taking control and really pushing through to make opportunities happen.

Pretty sure that I see things in such a unique way that it pushes people away? Seems that for pursuing my dreams at any cost I'm viewed as crazy, heartless, or even mean at times. My intention is not to hurt anyone along the way, although I do realize that casualties will happen. I do not intentionally go out of my way to hurt anyone, ever! My only ruse is a positive one that is intended to involve those I care about in the happenings of my life.

As per usual, it's time to re-focus on what's important and try to give my actions purpose instead of flailing around aimlessly. I've got a Utah Wind Symphony concert to rehearse for, a trip to New York to prepare and pay for, the Chamber Music Series at the UMFA to plan for fall, a degree to create, a show to write music for, and the longest shot of them all...trying to create an audition opportunity for a well known band. Let's do it! ;)