Focus and Patience

I wonder mostly, if the decisions that are the hardest are worth the pain and stress? I work hard to stay involved and yet still miss the most important moments. I wonder if I will ever have time to relax and enjoy a family or even make a family. Never felt more alone than I do laying next to the one I love. What's wrong with this picture? I've been asked to put my heart on hold and it is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Is it worth the heart ache to hope to one day have a life worth living with the only one who can make my heart flutter. I know that I need to focus on certain things these days but what's the point if I don't have someone to share it with. As I venture farther down the rabbit hole and gain moment toward my goals and success I find myself more and more alone. Unsure of the path that lay in front me, I continue forward with hope that it will make sense at some point even if its udderly absurd to those around me. I know there are monumentous changes on the horizon but am I ready for these changes, can I ever be fully prepared for what's around the corner? So many questions that can not be answered without inner reflection. Its time to reclaim what once was mine. Focus and patience.