Experience

I'm sure the most of you will think I'm a bit insane, but just tonight around 12 midnight I had one of the oddest spiritual experiences of my life. I woke up being pinned down, more literally paralyzed from moving my arms or my legs, and anytime I tried to yell or make any noise my mouth was forced shut. I felt this tremendous weight on top of me and anytime I tried to look over to see what it was, my sight was skewed as if I wasn't allowed to see what it was. After a few minutes of struggling the forced lifted and I was perfectly able to move around, look around, and talk like normal. The oddest part about tonight's experience was that it's happened before, and recently at that. Not sure what to make of it?

Good Enough Isn't Enough

So for the last two years, I've started school at the University of Utah, premiered large works of music by World Class composers, performed easily more than a hundred times in various ensembles and groups, traveled to Washington D.C., San Diego, Las Vegas, New Orleans, and Reno, have gotten divorced and dated a small handful of people since. Now finishing up my spring semester of my second year my perception of what was and what is has completely turned 180 degrees.

Thankful to be done with Keyboarding and Musicianship, I move forward into the summer with hopes of creating a Chamber Music Concert series at the UMFA, Instructing the Copper Hills High School Drumline, and really polishing my sight reading and percussion keyboard skills. I have to be the best of the best, the only way to succeed (and pay off these damned student loans) is to be the best performer. And not just be able to play anything that they put in front of me, but be able to play it well with a sense of musicianship and passion. That's what seems to be missing in a lot of people's playing these days is passion. So many people, myself included, simply struggle with playing the correct notes or the correct rhythms so much that the musicianship takes a back seat. As music majors we can't afford to have a single performance go by that isn't completely immersed with our heart and soul, good enough Isn't enough.

I hope someday that I can play mallet percussion the way that most play drum set, listening and reacting to what's going on around you and not just playing the music as written. The art of listening is taken for granted by most musicians these days. Being able to truly listen and hear what's going on around you is the ultimate goal and having to focus on what notes or fingerings to play takes us out of that active listening process.

This may seem obvious to many people, but as I woke up sneezing up a storm from allergies I laid in bed considering how to become not only a better musician but a better performer, and it hit me that I need to spend the time to get past the physical limitations so I can focus completely on the performance. I've come to a point in my life/career that I need to be able to perform and make some sort of money for that, even if that means that I'm doing school assemblies for the rest of my life. But to get to the next level for me also means that I can have a shot at Grad School, hopefully the program I want that would be a foot in the door into the Broadway Show/Tour end of the spectrum.

All in all things are looking up and moving forward, always moving forward. What doors will open up tomorrow, I don't know but I do know that I need to be better prepared for them when they do.

Time and Space

No more hiding in plain site. It's time people learn the truth.
The pain subsides when I'm the most vulnerable. Stress
leads to breakthroughs that are not productive for everyday life,
but that drive the soul to the limits of time and space. Bending
around the limits of physics to take the heart and soul on a trip
through the creative unknown. When I create music time and space
become irrelevant lending to the path of infinite possibilities.
Pure creation is that of no ego; no judgment. It just happens
free of worldly indulgence.

Evelyn Glennie shows how to listen | Video on TED.com

Evelyn Glennie shows how to listen | Video on TED.com

Affirmation: Concerto for Solo Percussion

I. DRIVEN
Every soul is driven to discover its purpose in life - to affirm its worth. For a few lucky ones, the purpose is revealed at a young age; for others the search can be a long, anxiety-filled, sometimes even frenzied journey. Full of confusion, panic, and the insistent "get on with your life" from well-meaning people, the search can quickly spiral into depression, overwhelming pressure, and ultimately complete exhaustion.....

II. DREAM ADAGIO
And then, almost organically, a ray of hope breaks through the depths of gloom. A glimpse of passion, a dream manifesting, one's purpose begins to dawn. Tears dry and energy is reborn. Hope rises forth as the dream begins to develop with a clear meaning. The feeling is euphoric.

III. DANCE OF IDENTITY
The journey is not over. A struggle remains as the soul learns how to embrace its new-found passion. Courage and perseverance must blossom to sustain through the new frightening risks encountered along this un-chartered path. But, as hope promises, a defining moment finally arrives, as the soul calls this identity its own. Feeling truly alive, perhaps for the first time, a celebration bursts forth! The search is over! The soul dances with meaning, passion, identity! Value, triumph, affirmation!

Let there be hope, let there be love
all I know is that it won't be from up above.
The music keeps ticking, as a time bomb of perpetual hope,
inspiration comes, inspiration goes, but always will be the tie that binds.

A New Era of Hope and Peace

Since the election of Barack Obama, I've had this overwhelming feeling of hope and prosperity wash over me. Just the idea that al Qaeda has stepped forward and offered a chance at a peace treaty is miles beyond any of the 43 other presidents. Let's hope and keep pushing forward to correct the issues that have brought our world economy into a recession, divided our country, and provided fear of terrorism for the last eight years. We are now closer than ever to being a part of the world economy, instead of beinga country that thinks they can fix everything by getting in the middle of it and showing that we have bigger guns, we can finally move toward making smart decisions based on past events. My hope is that The United States of America has finally started to learn from it's past mistakes, with electing the very first black president.

The most important thing to remember is, that no matter who is in the White House, "We The People" have the choice to make change and make our vioces heard. So if you don't like what's going on with the government stand up and shout it!

Let's be honest with ourselves, there's no quick fix for the economic situation that we're in. I don't believe that Barack Obama can fix these problems within the next 4 years, but I do believe that he can get us started in a direction to fix these problems. If we, the people, can learn from our past mistakes of the last 8 years then maybe we can make a change and make a difference for ourselves and most importantly for our children or grandchildren. But we need to maintain these ideals into the next election and keep moving forward.

Here's to Hope and Peace.