Dreams and Relationships

A dream is like a relationship, always giving and taking. But as people change over time so do relationships. Some adjust and compromise others end and some end one part of a relationship and continue another. For instance, just because you’re not intimate with someone anymore doesn’t mean you can’t still have conversations and perhaps even a friendship with them. There’s this idea that once a “serious” relationship ends that everything about the other person needs to be deleted, thrown away, in some way destroyed. Perhaps because it hurts to be reminded of what you once had. But what if instead of being upset that it doesn’t exist anymore we could just focus on the fact that it happened and was a part of our life, no matter how big or small? Now, maybe it’s not the best idea to be friends with your ex-significant other. There are a thousand reasons this is a bad idea. But for my purposes and experience this is a real possibility.

I have been in love with an idea, a dream, for longer than I can honestly remember. But now that I’m much older and spent the majority of my life, so far, pursuing that dream with every ounce of my soul, I have changed. And for longer than I should have allowed I have been in a one-sided relationship. Unrequited love is the most damaging. Reciprocation is the foundation of any relationship, without it we are just indulging in self-torture. As I have changed and evolved so have my ideas of love, loss, and now dreams.

While my dreams still remain relevant, my desire to pursue them has altered to a path that will allow me to steer away from a series of self-destructive codependent relationships. I have many dreams to pursue and have for the far too long put aside most of them in pursuit of one single goal. As is reflected in my work, I aspire not be just one thing but many. Happiness is a state of mind, a choice that we can choose daily. The following decisions are made on my own accord, uninfluenced directly by any single outside source.

My happiness hinges on a handful of factors of which, until recently, I thought were mostly out of my control. But it turns out that I have a say in where I live and what I do. This may seem a bit silly but for longer than I can remember I’ve pursued one single dream, an idea that has lead me to many places and exciting things but has dictated these factors until now.

I have experienced a level of acceptance and appreciation like never before. It was the first time in a very long time that I felt at home. After I left even returning to the place that most would call home, the place where I grew up, I still feel a longing for that appreciation and acceptance.

I’ve spent a lot of years surviving and pride myself on being so adaptable to any situation that I can survive anywhere. But, to be honest, I’m tired of surviving. I want to thrive and the only way I see myself thriving is with a foundation built on positive influence, which comes from the people that we surround ourselves with. Since the majority of our lives are spent at work and working, I figure I should spend my life working with people I enjoy and appreciate and who can reciprocate. 

I have no regrets because the choices we make form us into who we are, day-to-day through the entirety of our lives. Having no regrets doesn’t mean I don’t make bad decisions because I sure do, it means that regardless of a decision’s positive or negative outcome I accept it as my own.