Again and Again Life Changes

Changes, again, are just around the corner. This time they are less drastic but just as tough and potentially life changing. You would think that after 20+ years of constant changing and adjusting I would, in some way, get used to it. Nope, still just as scary as before. The only real difference is that I know now that I can survive anything. Literally, anything that comes my way I know I can manage and make it through, even the worst-case scenarios. Minus an impending doom but let’s face it there’s no control in that situation anyway so why worry? I got this, I think.

After getting passed over for the PAS fall internship, the last month or so has brought about a new job, which I quite enjoy. Driving a horse drawn carriage around downtown Indianapolis. This is a job that honestly seemed unattainable for some reason. But after seeing a large handful of carriages downtown one day I got up the courage to call and ask one of the companies if they were looking for drivers, assuming they would turn me down because they were already well into their busy season. After an interview in person I started training just a few weeks later. The only thing that postponed my training was going out on tour with the Lindsey Stirling crew for a week. After I returned from the tour I wrapped up the PAS spring internship and began training on my evenings after the museum.

I’ve been driving a carriage solo (senza trainer) for three weeks now and I can say that its one of the best jobs I’ve had in a long time. Mind you, its still a job not playing drums, buts its definitely at the top of my “Skills to Maintain” list for future work. It’s really nice because you get to work independently most of the night, improvising routes to keep on time, working through traffic with a 2000 lb. draft horse and carriage, and expecting the unexpected because when Roxie (my horse) senses a skateboard anywhere near, its time to go whether there are cars in front of her or not. So be aware the next time you cut off a horse drawn carriage to make your turn downtown. The drivers have planned ahead to ensure enough room to move if anything happens, but if you suddenly take away all control by cutting in front of them, don’t be surprised if you end up with hoof prints in your trunk. Besides that getting paid weekly is wonderful as well as tips on a nightly basis. The constantly flow of money, regardless of how big or small, makes it much easier to plan for the future.

On top of all of that, I found out yesterday that I will be returning to the Lindsey Stirling crew for her European tour in October. This is a major development, as it will now allow Madison and I to make the move to Orlando with far less stress than anticipated. The week I spent out with the tour previously was such a great experience that I jumped at the opportunity to do it again. This time will be for roughly six weeks. The tough part of this is that it puts a huge space between Madison and I for a period of time, which is not what we need right now. But she knows as well as I do, that we need this. Not only is it a good amount of money to bring home to pay for our move and settle in a better place, but its a grand opportunity for me as a musician and stagehand to network and build upon the years of groundwork I’ve been laying out.

So for the next two months I will continue driving carriages, then off to Europe for a six-week tour. When I return I will continue driving carriages through the holiday season and then by the end of the year I will be moved to Orlando with my beautiful girlfriend and at least one of her dogs (Minnie), the other dog (Darcy) and the rest of our things from Utah will hopefully follow soon after. Lots of planning and lots of logistics to work out but moving to Orlando I will have more than a handful of opportunities to pursue for work: musician, stagehand at SIR and LMG, and now carriage driver. Thanks to years of hard work and determination, and lots of help from supportive friends and family things are slowly coming together.

Bringing Love into Fear

Hesitation marks the beginning

Greatness is abound

But not for the weak

The passion that drives

Insanity ensues when

What’s expected is not imbued

Detours break piece by piece

Each rounded corner

Until sharp edges remain

Such a delicate yet resilient thing

The heart, is not to be tampered

But fear drives me to continue

Losing you is not in the book

But my dreams speak of it nightly

Pushing me to try harder each day

Trying may be suffocating us

What else am I to do?

But push on and hope we can endure

Rivers flow to lakes

Flowing to the never ending sea

Fueling my passion, my love for you.

Where's My Voice?

We spend years practicing to the soundtracks of other people’s lives, researching, listening, and playing along to try to catch a glimpse of something special.  I love listening to others’ music for inspiration but never to recreate. I spent far too many years trying to sound like someone else while playing. I know the purpose is to be the greatest we can be, but why not instead focus on making the greatest sound that is uniquely your own?

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t go out of your way to listen to every kind of music for as much influence as possible, what I’m getting at is instead of going into a playing situation trying to sound like Dave Grohl, Stewart Copland, Saul Goodman, or Alan Abel; try instead to take those influences and roll them into your playing. To a certain extent this happens regardless because, let’s face it we are no Stewart Copland. But many spend hours; even years working to sound like that of others.

My point is that I don’t want to be the next Stewart Copland or Dave Grohl, I only want to be the first Clay Barnum! So to those drummers and percussionists out there that are sitting comfortably on their thrones doing just enough not to get noticed, but not too much to stand out, I’m coming!

I’m not a fan of stealing gigs, but if you’re not doing all that you can possibly do to be happy, productive, and improving yourself while doing what you love; then I’ll be there to show those around you what they’re missing. Power, passion, and persistence are my tools. I’m fighting for my life, complacency is your biggest weakness because you’ll never see me coming.

Perceptive Responsibility

It’s very interesting to me to see how others perceive responsibility. When you’re in high school its understandable that starting your first job you may not know how to work in that environment. But as time grows on and you hold more and more jobs, in my case 30+, you become adept at learning different processes and ultimately gain more and more responsibility.

I’ve balanced more scheduling conflicts and responsibility in the last 10 years than most people will see in a lifetime. But how does that translate to finding work? Traditional job applications or even resumes, the way the average business world sees them, do not leave room to quantify the type of skills that we learn as stagehands, musicians, or freelancers. We have to get even more creative in our writing and editing skills to show the traditional business world what we are capable of. Why would I want to embark into the business world after years of freelancing? Truth is, it still takes a traditional “day job” to pay the bills, for now. More so, what I’m confused about is people’s ability to underestimate me, even when they’ve had months to assess and see my work ethic in action.

It becomes interesting is when you spend years learning and gaining responsibility in some cases to the point of having other people’s lives in your hands (i.e., if you don’t do your job correctly they will die).  But when its time to switch jobs trying to convince another employer that you’re worthy of their responsibility to fly a desk is a little silly. I’ve spent countless hours running fly rails in my home theater where all of the weight in the air, if not proportioned correctly can damage and kill people, I’ve spent time managing groups of students whose creative education depends on me, and after six months of consistent efficient work at a desk where the most dangerous part of the job is handling cash in a drawer; DO NOT treat me like I’m brand new on the job. You hired me because I am older and have more experience than anyone else don’t under mind your own choice by treating me like a child.

But then to go from a small tour where I was responsible for building the main video wall only to return to the desk job to be treated like a new employee? Really? After driving a desk for more than 6 months I have now attained a job as a carriage driver downtown. That’s right; driving a 2000lb Belgian Draft horse through the crowded streets of Indianapolis, never mistake my capacity to accept responsibility. It’s not unlike driving a band behind a drum kit; one wrong move and it can crash into a parked car. 

There are a few points that I would like to finish up with. The first is that no matter what, you can do anything you put your mind to it’s all in how you approach it. The second is to always keep moving forward. Regardless of what you end up doing always keep your goals in mind. Everyday take a step toward your goals, don’t be afraid of responsibility, and learn to quantify the unquantifiable. Be creative in every endeavor.

One More Last Day

I have worked a lot of different jobs in my rotational experience around the sun. And because each job had a starting day it also eventually came to an end providing a last day on the job. Now I never thought that I would have quite so many last days but as it turns out sustaining a musical career takes a lot of non-musical jobs. So from job to job I have weaved in and out. In this process I have learned a few things.

There is always a job to be had; it’s just a matter of whether or not you’re willing to do said task. At times it may seem that there are no jobs anywhere but the truth is you just gotta get down and dirty or creative in how you’re looking or simply what you’re looking for. Don’t be afraid to do anything to accomplish a life goal.

The one most important thing that I've learned in my many and various jobs is the process of learning. As much as we take learning for granted because it is very much a part of nature and happens almost seamlessly for most; it couldn't be more overstated that we need to continue to understand the process of learning within ourselves and work to improve our ability to learn quickly. We need to work on the skills that cannot be quantified by tests and resumés (i.e., social interaction, work ethic, adaptability, etc.). The technical knowledge in any job can be learned by anyone simply because 1+1=2, but a horrible work-ethic plus an anti-social personality does not equate to a marketable or hirable employee.

Especially as drummers and percussionists, we are not likely to have a career where we are at the top of the hiring tier. Mainly we will most likely be working for someone else as a session musician, hired side-man for tour, or in a band with other musicians so it is important for us to be fully aware of how we interact with everyone around us. Basically, every step you take should be toward being a better person and learning as much as you can. There is an infinite amount of knowledge to be had especially in the realm of drums and percussion.

“I am doing everything I possibly can to achieve my goals every single day, for if I die tomorrow I will have no regrets.” This is something I think long and hard about almost every day. I constantly focus and re-focus on what I’m doing and where I’m headed because life has a tendency to throw curves at you and if you don’t pay attention those curves can send you sailing in a completely different direction than where you want to be. Not to say I don’t take those changes in stride and incorporate new information into my current plan, but I have a vision of where I want to be.

Although the last day at this internship will not likely be my final last day, if I cease to exist tomorrow I will know that I have done everything within my power to get accomplish my goals and earn a little bit of happiness. Thanks for the opportunities. Here’s to the future, come what may!