Work, love or hate it?

Work can be something that you either love or hate. The best part is that you have a choice. For many people, I’ve come across in my many years working in production plants; they feel stuck in a rut with their job. Either they’re not progressing up the ladder or they’re not where they want to be at all usually because they don’t want to disrupt or uproot their family.

Do yourself and your family a favor, follow your dreams and find the job that makes you light up; for when you love your job it is no longer work. Those dreadful 10-12 or 20+ hour days melt like butter into weeks/months of process that light up your life. One major factor to loving the work you do, besides finding the work you love, is learning to love the process. I, myself, love playing drums. Without a doubt I would rather be out playing a musical, playing in a rock band, or backing a singer/songwriter. But when it came time to learn something new it became work, a job I had difficulty showing up to everyday.

I changed this by learning to love the process. I found ways of making the day-to-day practice more fun and manageable. Sometimes it is hard simply because there’s so much to work on, where do you start? How do you approach the mountain of learning that is percussion? Start with the basics, pick one thing, and learn that rudiment or idea as well as you possibly can then learn how to apply it.

“Knowledge is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.” – Bruce Lee

We have to remember to get out of the practice room and play music with other human beings. This will challenge you in the best ways. Love what you do, enjoy the process, and nothing will be work.  

The Silliness of Perfection

We spend much of our lives striving to find happiness and for a few of us we have been lucky enough to revel in what some would call a perfect moment, where all the variables culminate into a blissful awareness. But it seems that if we’re not striving to find those moments we are striving to get back to a time or a place where those existed, not realizing that they can and will never be the same. Those moments are a product of experiences that lead up to that special moment, once it’s passed all we can do is create other unique moments. Don’t waste time trying to recreate it. Instead, bath in the bliss and enjoy every ounce of it. Remember that feeling so when it comes again you can recognize it. The idea of perfection is misleading.

Practice makes perfect. This idea sets an expectation that there is an achievable level of perfection in the world. Perfection denotes that there is a right and a wrong or a level that can be reached where no more can be attained. When practicing any skill there is no attainable perfection according to any scale or measurement. Instead there is only you and what you are capable of. Because no matter how far you go there will always be more to learn. At one point in my life I thought it would have been impossible to play a full measure of 16^th notes at 120 bpm with one hand, but two weeks ago I reached that goal.

Growth can be difficult to measure especially in ones own life because it can take years to develop. If you spend a small amount of time reflecting you should be able to see growth on a long enough time frame. If you can’t you should probably evaluate some choices and change something in your life.  I, myself, spend far too much time reflecting on the past or looking to the future and not nearly enough working on the present. This is something I am constantly working on. Of course this all depends on your goals and where your happiness lies.

The biggest downfalls of achieving higher levels of growth are expectations, whether imposed by ourselves or others, or even worse trying to match someone else’s abilities. There’s nothing worse than trying to measure up to someone else and realizing that you do not have the same abilities. It’s important to have goals to reach but more so to realize that you will have to walk your own path at your own pace. Being fully aware of ourselves will help along the way. Understanding how we perceive the world around us allows us to understand how we can learn faster. We will still be working each at our own pace but then we can begin to focus in on the areas we are less proficient and adjust accordingly. I know I need to work on my hand to foot coordination and get my feet up to speed with my hands. When I sit down to practice I create exercises that focus on that area.

The same goes for every aspect of life, find something that you’re unhappy with and change it. Keep in mind that there are many factors in life that we have no control over but are there are a vast number of variables in life that we can control; take the time to find the ones you can. This doesn't always need to be humongous things in life they can be simple. It’s your life you should be happy with it. 

Building Something from Nothing

As musicians and artists we are all caught up in making our art or trying to put our stamp on the world. But with so many different personalities going completely different directions, it’s no wonder we all find such a hard time gaining any headway. What if, instead of solely working toward individual goals, we worked toward building a community where we can all benefit from the work we put into it?

I realized after reading Mo' Meta Blues: The World According to Questlove that many of the great artist that hit big in the last ten years were musically born in a project that was built upon community. Many artists coming together to share their love of Soul, R&B, and Hip-hop in turn created Neo-Soul where The Roots found their calling.

My path in life has been a windy one, but I have still managed to find a few people that believe in me and want to help me and in return I do everything in my power to help them in their goals. It’s the age old adage of “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” But what if more of us worked this way? You help me fund my project and in return I’ll play on your project or help you fund yours, or help you plan the logistics for your next big show. It’s all a give and a take, but lately it seems the mentality taking over society is simply just, “TAKE!”

I propose that if I've helped you in the past by playing on a recital, teaching lessons, helped you move, or even just been there to listen to your venting that its now time for you to help me. If you choose to support in any way you can then I promise you this, right here right now, that I will be a part of your next project on some level. I have an array of skills to offer to up-and-coming and professional musicians, perhaps all you need is a change of perspective. Lets build something together. #AD4L is coming soon will you be involved?

Listen and Be Heard

The most disadvantageous idea that musicians have fallen prey to is that any one musician is better or worse than another. We all are learning to speak a language in our own words. There is no right or wrong, just my words and yours. Once we get past this innately human need for competition, we can truly begin to hear each other.

Like any language we learn music by working with the foundational materials, basic harmony, melody, and rhythm. And then as time progresses, as relentlessly as it does, we add to our bag of tricks by learning more difficult ways to express this language. At the beginning of our musical development most of us learn the music of those that have come before us and some continue to do so becoming interpreters or technicians of that language. Tirelessly striving for a few perfect moments where all of the variables come together into an emotionally pressing experience.

Others take a different approach. When learning from those who have gone before, this inspires us to find our own voice. But to find our own voice entails finding our own words. As before, we learn the basic foundational words so that we may speak amongst everyone but how does one form and find their own words? I work best not by directly copying another artist but by taking a foundational idea inspired by them and creating my own voice.

In this competition driven world where the drummers and musicians vie for tens of thousands of dollars in prizes or top billing on a concert review, how can anyone be heard without screaming? In fact when I watch the winners of these drum competitions all I hear in their playing is a bunch of kids screaming to be heard and trying to cram as many words into their statement as possible. If you’re playing on stage in front of people, whether it is solo or in a group, you are making a statement. Its up to you what that statement says.

Don’t get me wrong, the drummers I’m speaking about have serious skill, but skill is nothing without creativity. Similar to applying for work or a gig in any situation, we create a package with materials, videos, links, etc. But almost always there will be a cover letter or an artist statement on some level. In this statement you have one paragraph to grab their attention and perhaps maybe one or two more paragraphs to explain why you’re the best fit for their organization. All in all you have one page to get your ideas across.

With these competitions you have one chance for a first impression and the first few rounds usually are limited to two minutes, even the final rounds are only five minutes. Five minutes to show who you are and what you can do is not a lot of time, which is why it makes sense to me that most of these drummers just kind of musically spew everything they have out on to the table. The sad part is that there is a lot of talent being showcased but very little creativity.

What if, instead of going on stage and vomiting musical incongruity everywhere, we went out with a solid well prepared statement that showcased our best abilities at that moment? Genuine, creatively crafted statements will stand out and be heard amongst the droning screams. Listen and be heard, everyone has something to say.

Art of Living in the Pursuit of Happiness

I've prided myself for years on being an upstanding person. Honest and passionate about life and the pursuit of happiness. But at this point in my life, I find that I've fallen to the very bottom of a slippery slope that I’m not sure I can get myself out of.

Lying is one of the worst and most damaging things you can do to a person. I do not know why, but in the last 4-5 years I've been lying to myself which has translated into my personal life. I feel it best to come clean with myself and the world and try to find a way to climb out of this cavern of negativity.

What causes people to lie, what causes me to lie? Why would I intentionally hurt someone I love very much? The truth is, I've gone so far down the rabbit hole that I don’t always know what I’m saying and on many levels actually believe the lies I've told myself. One of the many reasons, its really just an excuse, is a survival. The last 5 years has been so frustrating and trying that I've had to lie to survive sometimes just as simply as lying to get some food, because it’s no fun going for very many days without food. Don’t get me wrong, I've had a lot of help along the way and I fully appreciate every bit of it. But, even then, it still takes its toll and sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

I’m not happy about it, I’m definitely not proud of it. In fact, I beat myself up and feel guilty everyday because of it. I hate myself most days because of these things. Most of all I hate myself for hurting the one person that I love, truly and deeply.

Our connection was instant and from the beginning I didn't honor that and cherish that connection as I should have. I let my brain get involved in matters of the heart and that’s when everything started falling apart. I have no comprehension of the breadth of pain I've caused. Although I do know how it has affected me, changed me all I see is negativity. The only thing I should have ever done was make you laugh and smile, anything less is undeserving of your love. Madison, my darling girl, I love you beyond the ends of the universe. You bring so much light and love into my life. With the smallest smirk of a smile you can bring me out of the darkest hate-filled place. Your power is unmatched in this universe.

All I truly want is to be happy, deserving of your love, and able to accept your love. The truth is, I need help to repair the damage that has been done, I need a light to lead the way. Please be patient as I re-learn the art of living in the pursuit of happiness. 

Rhythm, who needs it?

“Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.” –Pablo Picasso

Music can be broken down into many different variables depending upon which type of music you want to talk about. I think of music as being made up of three basic components melody, harmony, and rhythm. Melodies are tunes you can’t seem to get out of your head or better known as the hook that brings you in to listen again and again. Harmony is the notes that accompany the melody giving it a foundation to sit upon. Rhythm is something unique in that even if there is no accompanying rhythmic voice (drums or percussion) it’s still prevalent. Everything has rhythm. Speech has a rhythm and varies from culture to culture, our very own heartbeat has a rhythm, and when we sing or play a melody unless the notes are droning with no decipherable time there is a rhythm attached to it. Rhythm gives music its space in time.

As musicians our understanding of these three basic components is what sets us apart from the rest of the world. Isn’t it our responsibility to learn as much as we possibly can about all three of these elements? In my experience I’ve seen a lack of interest, among musicians (professional and amateur), in learning all they can about the art of making music. As a lifelong drummer/percussionist I have spent countless hours pondering rhythm and how it is perceived.

To me, time is abstract, something that didn’t really exist until someone decided to start measuring it. Hours, days, months, and years pass because someone mathematically plotted it out and decided to measure it in those ways. But if you don’t think time is abstract think of this, right now in the United States of America we have four different time zones. I can call L.A. from Indianapolis and while they’re having lunch I’m wrapping up my work day. Or that in Australia it’s already tomorrow.

In my travels and various musical encounters I have met musicians that think they know all there is to know about their craft or that there isn’t an infinite number of possibilities to explore in music. Truth is there is a finite number of possibilities but the art of it is how each individual or group puts these three factors together. So many guitar players that strum the eighth notes or may even accent some of those eighth notes think that’s the extent of syncopation, given it is not their specialty to fully understand rhythm but why not take a note from the guy sitting behind the drums whose job it is to understand as much as possible about keeping time and the rhythms within them. Even then many drummers don’t fully grasp the vast array of rhythmic concepts that are available, mainly because popular music holds true to a very basic standard set of rhythms for time keeping. But what if we progress the art and pushed the boundaries of what is acceptable in pop music instead of just adhering to a tried and true formula? Once music becomes science all of the heart, soul, and emotion are stripped from it.

To my musician friends and colleagues but more so to my drummer friends, explore all there is to find, wax philosophical about it, and find new ways to express yourself but for your sake and the guys/gals standing next to you on the bandstand try it out. Although it is the drummers job to hold down the time-keeping fort if you as a musician have a stronger sense of rhythm and how it relates to time, the music you make will always be stronger.

Electrified Silhouettes

This train wreck of a brain is racing toward sanity
One last time, I can't stand it!
Stoking the fire of pain, the ultimate in vanity

I want it all for myself
I crave the power, the passion
that once consumed my life
Every inch of me electrified
The greatest addiction of our time.

Like a pendulum it swings
from positive to Mr. Negativo
Patience wears thin
Like fine laid lingerie
Accentuation the most prominent silhouettes.

Mastering Your Art

 “Percussion is like walking through the forest. You can’t possibly see it all; there are endless possibilities of what you can do.” – John Bergamo

As drummers and percussionists we all have a common ground, not having enough time to learn everything. So therein lays a dilemma. How do we choose which instruments, styles, or techniques to focus on? The range of options can be daunting. This can both be positive and negative.

I believe that most of us try to find a balance between gaining knowledge of the topics we have an interest in and what we happen to stumble upon or sometimes are thrown into the fire for. But I’m curious how others make these choices? I grew up with the adages of “Jack of all trades, master of none,” or “Those who chase both rabbits will catch neither,” basically reinforcing the idea that I need to choose one thing to focus on, to master.

Most of the philosophy that I've gravitated toward, that speaks to me, is of eastern descent. A lot of martial arts philosophy that has helped me focus on individual tasks, “Do it when it needs to be done, as well as it can be done, and do it that way every time.” But when it comes to actually playing gigs for a living, a drummer’s job is to know everything. In the various gigs I've played over the years I have played the full range of concert percussion from timpani on Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring and snare drum on Ravel’s Bolero to tuned wine glasses on Ecstatic Waters by Steven Bryant. But also have spent my time in the pits of musical theater ranging many different styles of drum set, concert percussion, and even Foley percussion. But we are also expected to know and understand the range of electronic percussion and how that works into a show playing to a click/backing tracks, creating said tracks, execution of tracks, even adjusting your playing based off of the sound reinforcement options or in many cases the lack thereof.

Whew, I need to take a breath. The point being is that there is so much to know and learn about percussion how could any one person be able to take it all in much less master it in a lifetime? I know that we all gravitate toward our own interests for various reasons and focus on one main form but even with drum set as a main focus one person could spend years focusing on Latin rhythms and never move away from them to study Jazz, Rock, or R&B. But we are expected to be able to do everything. My focus in this period of my life is getting the heart and soul in place, the groove, finding the pocket that drives me forward. I believe this is possible by playing from the heart. If every snap of the snare drum oozes from your soul then there cannot be a wrong note or placement. While I also focus on furthering my speed and coordination I also bring the tempos way down and bring the attention back to the minute details, the building blocks. Mastering the time in which we've been given charge is a goal that will take a lifetime.

Surging Through Rough Waters

Waves breaking over the bow, sailing into unknown waters.
Storm surges pass by where will we end up?

Knowing would not change our inevitable destiny.
Patience and consistency calm the waters to see the horizon.

As the sun rises so does our hope.
This endless journey may bring some happiness
in the process we find love.

We have fought through many rough waters and obstacles.
Failure is not an option, only misdirection.

The power from within fuels the engine
Speeding head on into the next surge

Soaking and bleeding, nothing will stop us.

Today's scribblings

People hanging in the streets, dying in their sleep
leaving before their time has come.

The horsemen take your life, sweeping every breath.
Trampling heads, legs, and chest
My heart will prevail, beating through the pain.

The time has come to pick a side;
Giving, taking, please don't stay.
Never going to realize
hiding, wasting your life away.

The line's been drawn in the sand,
with me or against me, I take a stand!

Dreams of Drums

職人 – Shokunin

Last night I watched “Jiro Dreams of Sushi” a documentary about a master sushi maker in Japan. It reminded me of a philosophy that I hold dear and true to my heart, mastering through repetition. Not mindless repetition, sitting in front of the television and practicing. Being mindful of every moment every nuance of what you are doing, fully aware and engaged. This repetition creates a baseline, a standard to which you can hold yourself. If everyday you get up and do something in the exact same way it would get boring, but if instead you were aware of your flaws and fixed/changed one thing that you did not like from the previous you would quickly master your art as well.

When I speak of art I do not always mean the traditional arts painting, music, sculpting, etc. I mean to speak of the art of your trade. In the documentary they talk about choosing this fish for the sushi and how each vendor they purchase from is the master in their field tuna, octopus, shrimp, etc. If Jiro chooses the best fish everyday then he holds himself to a higher standard of creating sushi thus progressing in his trade. The same goes for drums and percussion. The artisans that have crafted, more often than not by hand, the instruments you play on have spent their lives honing a skill that can only be learned by a hands-on approach usually apprenticing for many years. Don’t we, as crafters of music, owe it to these artisans to spend an equal amount of time or effort mastering our skills? Don’t we owe it to our students to teach in this way? Whatever skills you choose in life do it as well as you can and do it that way every time. 

Talent will get you only so far. For those who do not become shokunin (craftsman) of their trade, continually striving to better themselves and their art, will not truly become successful in any sense. I have heard so many people in my life tell me this and it has never resonated as clearly as it does now. Daily practice will unveil the cracks in your abilities. Find your flaws and, as Mike Johnston so kindly says, “embrace the suck.” Spend the time to fix them right so no time is wasted later. This will take time; we all walk our own paths at different paces, some walk slowly and others quickly. Take control of what you can. The sooner you learn to love the process and embrace fully the fact that learning is a lifetime process the sooner you will find happiness and with some luck success. Regardless of how much or how hard you practice success in the music business still largely relies on networking. Who you know is important, but more so who knows you.  Make sure that they person they know is the person you would hire.

There is no quick road through life. Each day will pass as fast as the previous. Take advantage of the time you have and immerse yourself in learning your art.

Let there be life, let there be love, let there be silence when there needs to be.

So much can happen in one year. A year ago today I was graduating from the University of Utah, a task that did not come lightly or without serious struggle. After a quick walk across the stage my girl, her family, and I all sped down to Disneyland. Because what else do you do once you’ve spent half of your adult life in school, you go to the happiest place on earth of course. A whirlwind of a trip, 3 days in SoCal, drive back, send my girl back to Florida to work at Disney World as I pack an apartment and prepare for 5 weeks in Italy.

Not without some serious detours, my study abroad in Siena, Italy was by far contained some of the most beautiful moments in my entire life. I feel lucky to have had my fair share of moments that are so beautiful they literally leave you speechless. After a few awkward bus rides and a 48 hour sleep deprived trip home it was time to get back to “reality” so to speak.

Back home in Utah, I stayed with my family while I found an apartment and looked for work in Salt Lake City. Months went by and hundreds upon hundreds of applications were submitted and hundreds of more calls made, there was no hope for finding work. Finally approaching places that said they were not hiring but walked in and gave them my information along with a few nods from friends whom I had worked with previously, I found a job (or a handful of jobs). Freelance work is tough to manage with many schedules conflicting, but I was happy to do it with the expectation of a paycheck. I was happy even to work 90+ hours in a single week to kick off the inaugural Salt Lake City Comicon.  But to what avail? My paycheck that had been promised every two weeks (one that I had needed for months) came late, not just a few days late but more than two weeks late. After more than a handful of late paychecks I was unable to continue working with such an inconsistent schedule.

After looking for more work with no success I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Just at the right moment I came across the Percussive Arts Society (PAS) internship, which happened to be a paid. Thank god for some sort of a paycheck. But like any good opportunity there was a catch. I would have to move to Indianapolis, IN with less than a month’s notice; which meant my truck and most of my drums had to go to pay for the relocation. Where would my career path take me? I had just given up 17 years of performing experience for a desk job, an internship with no promise of continued work after 6 months. But at least I had a paycheck for now. This opportunity proved wonderful as it gave me time to collect my thoughts, my finances, and prepare for the next major step of life. Regardless of what I choose to do from here one out I am grateful for this life-saving opportunity and will always be indebted to PAS and Rhythm! Discovery Center.

Although one year ago today I started on an unknown path, today my dreams are reaffirmed. There is much to be done before any celebration may take place. Let there be life, let there be love, let there be silence when there needs to be.