Work, Love to Hate It!

As an artist the idea of a “job” is something that brings a flood of negative emotions, it’s the one thing standing in our way of doing what we love. But for most of us it is a necessary evil that must be compromised with at some level. But don’t let what you need to do for money dictate your happiness or your creativity. Use the skills you have and build toward your creative goals by working in areas that are adjacent to your dream job.

In the pursuit of my dream job, I’ve spent twenty years working various jobs to pay the bills. Many of which were creatively painful others of which were just stagnant with people drowning in complacency. I know that we all make compromises from time to time but at what fork in the road do we compromise our dreams away? I have always been aware of the mass effect that decisions have on our lives which is why I’m very careful with whom I spend my time with and the work I spend my precious time here doing.

With each decision along the way came a time where a job was needed to survive or more often than not a decision was made to leave a specific job for fear of being dragged down to the depths of creative despair. For most of my life I thought, “I just need a job to get by.” So I took and kept whatever jobs came my way without much thought of where those opportunities would lead me later in life. The truth is the best thing that happened to me was meeting up with my now good friend, Greg Downs. He helped me gain access to working inside the world of live production (live sound, lights, stage hand work, etc.) that has now lead to a spot on a European tour in the fall. Now, more than ten years later, it makes perfect sense. Why wouldn’t I work on stage crews and get closer to where I wanted to be? Honestly, I just never thought it was possible for me to do these things. As it turns out these jobs were best suited for me because they kept me on my toes with different environments everyday.

Be aware that not only the decisions you make but also how you act and react to situations directly affects other people’s opinions of you. And, who knows, you might just miss out on a grand opportunity if you’re too much of a diva or drama queen. That “rock star” attitude you purvey is killing opportunities for you further down the road. Yes, that might get you a gig in a singular form and that might be a great opportunity at some point but isn’t that a gamble of long odds? Why not instead focus on maximizing your opportunities by using the skills you have to get you closer to your dream jobs little by little. For me these skills vary because I grew up in a place where I could work in varying situations and with large animals. Both reinforcing my work ethic and allowing me opportunities that I am only now getting to reap the benefits of. I owe everything I have to my work ethic. It is these skills that I’ve built upon over the years to create a unique resume including everything from branding cattle to stage hand work, to now driving horse-drawn carriages through downtown Indianapolis.

But outside of work we must continue to focus on the first-hand skills necessary to be ready for that dream job when it comes screaming by at 100mph. Because when it does come you better be ready or you may not even recognize it or be able to catch it. I don’t know very many musicians/artists that are capable of doing the one thing they are known for. Most professional musicians I know have a secondary income but usually closely related to their field. For instance, my professor Douglas J. Wolf is a percussionist with the Utah Symphony but has also been teaching percussion at the University of Utah for over 35 years. Another example is Kenny Hodges, who plays around Salt Lake City, UT as a freelance percussionist, sits in with various performances with Utah Symphony and Broadway touring shows as they come through town. But Kenny also owns and operates a business where he records audio books with various voice talent and authors. They both do what they love and have found ways to fill the billfold with varying creative endeavors. 

This kind of work definitely creates a scenario of endless work, but if you love what you’re doing, it is not work. I don’t know any artists that wouldn’t put in a fifteen or twenty hour day to accomplish their art. Why should this be any different on the path leading up to that goal? Don’t be afraid to work multiple jobs and after a twenty-hour day go home and practice your art.  I was once told, “In the 25^th hour of my day…” in response to a friend who had not put in the time to learn a few songs. Because he didn’t feel he had enough time in the day to accomplish the tasks necessary. The truth is we had different priorities in life because if its something you love you can always make time. Decide what is important to you, and go for it. I promise if you love it, the time spent working will melt away and you will no longer be working for the weekend.

Don’t ever tell me that you’re stuck and cannot get out of a situation. You might be stuck for a period of time but you can always work toward changing it, even if only in small ways. Even right this very moment as I type these words across this page I’m stuck in a place where I don’t want to be but every decision and move I make is toward getting to a better, happier place. You may not have a choice in what or how things happen in your life, but you always have a choice in how you deal with those situations.

The point I am trying to convey is, never settle for anything less than what you want. If you don’t have the skills go out and learn, ask for help, and most of all work hard. If you can show up on time, work hard, and be a nice person, nothing can stop you. Keep in mind that you have no control over what opportunities come knocking, but you do have control of whether or not you can put yourself in front of some. Life will never work out the way you want or expect. Drop your expectations of how the world should be live in the moment. Find what you love and let it rule your life.

The way I see the world. As long as I drum hard, love hard, and work hard I will love the work I do. Even if it’s the most undesirable job out there, if you’re pursuing your happiness, nothing will stop you.

Managing a Large Animal

More often than not orchestras and bands are referred to as well oiled machines, but I prefer to think of them as unpredictable animals with minds of their own. Because you truly have no idea what will happen, no matter how well prepared they are, anything can come flying around the corner and send you off track. That’s where the preparation comes in, to be able to handle the unruly curves that life brings. From the driver’s seat of a carriage to the throne behind a drum set to the stool behind the timpani: they all have one thing in common; the drivers, drummers, and percussionists around the world are all driving large unpredictable animals.

As a carriage driver my horse, Roxie, has taught me many lessons in such a short time about managing and more specifically micro-managing. In fact that it’s more important to simply manage rather than micro-manage. If I let Roxie go the way she has been trained and do what she knows how to do, with only small adjustments from me once in a while, she will be fine. But as soon as I begin micro-managing, constantly pulling on the lines in different directions, she immediately becomes confused often times stopping in her tracks until I give her a clear sense of direction.

I’ve experience this same scenario first hand playing in bands and even in orchestras. The last time I played timpani for the University of Utah Philharmonia we were performing Stravinksy’s The Rite of Spring and I was on the first timpani part. I was in the drivers seat of this gigantic orchestra, we had combined brass and strings with Utah State University, and I could feel the raw power of the beast in front of me. I knew that we had done our preparation in rehearsals but what would happen once we threw in unknown variables and double the amount of players? With a piece like The Rite of Spring, there really is no room for error. There’s so much going on all the time that you have to be spot on, especially as the timpani player, because everyone else is cueing off of your part. But very much like driving a draft horse through the city traffic, you have to know when to make small adjustments but be weary about too many constant changes, for fear of running into a bystander.

There’s also a level of mutual trust that must be achieved so that both the driver and the animal know that any situation that approaches will be handled appropriately. This process can be scary because until this mutual trust is earned there’s a series of moments that can be highly volatile. But once this trust is reached between both parties, the days get much easier and bonds begin to be formed.

Again and Again Life Changes

Changes, again, are just around the corner. This time they are less drastic but just as tough and potentially life changing. You would think that after 20+ years of constant changing and adjusting I would, in some way, get used to it. Nope, still just as scary as before. The only real difference is that I know now that I can survive anything. Literally, anything that comes my way I know I can manage and make it through, even the worst-case scenarios. Minus an impending doom but let’s face it there’s no control in that situation anyway so why worry? I got this, I think.

After getting passed over for the PAS fall internship, the last month or so has brought about a new job, which I quite enjoy. Driving a horse drawn carriage around downtown Indianapolis. This is a job that honestly seemed unattainable for some reason. But after seeing a large handful of carriages downtown one day I got up the courage to call and ask one of the companies if they were looking for drivers, assuming they would turn me down because they were already well into their busy season. After an interview in person I started training just a few weeks later. The only thing that postponed my training was going out on tour with the Lindsey Stirling crew for a week. After I returned from the tour I wrapped up the PAS spring internship and began training on my evenings after the museum.

I’ve been driving a carriage solo (senza trainer) for three weeks now and I can say that its one of the best jobs I’ve had in a long time. Mind you, its still a job not playing drums, buts its definitely at the top of my “Skills to Maintain” list for future work. It’s really nice because you get to work independently most of the night, improvising routes to keep on time, working through traffic with a 2000 lb. draft horse and carriage, and expecting the unexpected because when Roxie (my horse) senses a skateboard anywhere near, its time to go whether there are cars in front of her or not. So be aware the next time you cut off a horse drawn carriage to make your turn downtown. The drivers have planned ahead to ensure enough room to move if anything happens, but if you suddenly take away all control by cutting in front of them, don’t be surprised if you end up with hoof prints in your trunk. Besides that getting paid weekly is wonderful as well as tips on a nightly basis. The constantly flow of money, regardless of how big or small, makes it much easier to plan for the future.

On top of all of that, I found out yesterday that I will be returning to the Lindsey Stirling crew for her European tour in October. This is a major development, as it will now allow Madison and I to make the move to Orlando with far less stress than anticipated. The week I spent out with the tour previously was such a great experience that I jumped at the opportunity to do it again. This time will be for roughly six weeks. The tough part of this is that it puts a huge space between Madison and I for a period of time, which is not what we need right now. But she knows as well as I do, that we need this. Not only is it a good amount of money to bring home to pay for our move and settle in a better place, but its a grand opportunity for me as a musician and stagehand to network and build upon the years of groundwork I’ve been laying out.

So for the next two months I will continue driving carriages, then off to Europe for a six-week tour. When I return I will continue driving carriages through the holiday season and then by the end of the year I will be moved to Orlando with my beautiful girlfriend and at least one of her dogs (Minnie), the other dog (Darcy) and the rest of our things from Utah will hopefully follow soon after. Lots of planning and lots of logistics to work out but moving to Orlando I will have more than a handful of opportunities to pursue for work: musician, stagehand at SIR and LMG, and now carriage driver. Thanks to years of hard work and determination, and lots of help from supportive friends and family things are slowly coming together.

Bringing Love into Fear

Hesitation marks the beginning

Greatness is abound

But not for the weak

The passion that drives

Insanity ensues when

What’s expected is not imbued

Detours break piece by piece

Each rounded corner

Until sharp edges remain

Such a delicate yet resilient thing

The heart, is not to be tampered

But fear drives me to continue

Losing you is not in the book

But my dreams speak of it nightly

Pushing me to try harder each day

Trying may be suffocating us

What else am I to do?

But push on and hope we can endure

Rivers flow to lakes

Flowing to the never ending sea

Fueling my passion, my love for you.

Where's My Voice?

We spend years practicing to the soundtracks of other people’s lives, researching, listening, and playing along to try to catch a glimpse of something special.  I love listening to others’ music for inspiration but never to recreate. I spent far too many years trying to sound like someone else while playing. I know the purpose is to be the greatest we can be, but why not instead focus on making the greatest sound that is uniquely your own?

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t go out of your way to listen to every kind of music for as much influence as possible, what I’m getting at is instead of going into a playing situation trying to sound like Dave Grohl, Stewart Copland, Saul Goodman, or Alan Abel; try instead to take those influences and roll them into your playing. To a certain extent this happens regardless because, let’s face it we are no Stewart Copland. But many spend hours; even years working to sound like that of others.

My point is that I don’t want to be the next Stewart Copland or Dave Grohl, I only want to be the first Clay Barnum! So to those drummers and percussionists out there that are sitting comfortably on their thrones doing just enough not to get noticed, but not too much to stand out, I’m coming!

I’m not a fan of stealing gigs, but if you’re not doing all that you can possibly do to be happy, productive, and improving yourself while doing what you love; then I’ll be there to show those around you what they’re missing. Power, passion, and persistence are my tools. I’m fighting for my life, complacency is your biggest weakness because you’ll never see me coming.

Perceptive Responsibility

It’s very interesting to me to see how others perceive responsibility. When you’re in high school its understandable that starting your first job you may not know how to work in that environment. But as time grows on and you hold more and more jobs, in my case 30+, you become adept at learning different processes and ultimately gain more and more responsibility.

I’ve balanced more scheduling conflicts and responsibility in the last 10 years than most people will see in a lifetime. But how does that translate to finding work? Traditional job applications or even resumes, the way the average business world sees them, do not leave room to quantify the type of skills that we learn as stagehands, musicians, or freelancers. We have to get even more creative in our writing and editing skills to show the traditional business world what we are capable of. Why would I want to embark into the business world after years of freelancing? Truth is, it still takes a traditional “day job” to pay the bills, for now. More so, what I’m confused about is people’s ability to underestimate me, even when they’ve had months to assess and see my work ethic in action.

It becomes interesting is when you spend years learning and gaining responsibility in some cases to the point of having other people’s lives in your hands (i.e., if you don’t do your job correctly they will die).  But when its time to switch jobs trying to convince another employer that you’re worthy of their responsibility to fly a desk is a little silly. I’ve spent countless hours running fly rails in my home theater where all of the weight in the air, if not proportioned correctly can damage and kill people, I’ve spent time managing groups of students whose creative education depends on me, and after six months of consistent efficient work at a desk where the most dangerous part of the job is handling cash in a drawer; DO NOT treat me like I’m brand new on the job. You hired me because I am older and have more experience than anyone else don’t under mind your own choice by treating me like a child.

But then to go from a small tour where I was responsible for building the main video wall only to return to the desk job to be treated like a new employee? Really? After driving a desk for more than 6 months I have now attained a job as a carriage driver downtown. That’s right; driving a 2000lb Belgian Draft horse through the crowded streets of Indianapolis, never mistake my capacity to accept responsibility. It’s not unlike driving a band behind a drum kit; one wrong move and it can crash into a parked car. 

There are a few points that I would like to finish up with. The first is that no matter what, you can do anything you put your mind to it’s all in how you approach it. The second is to always keep moving forward. Regardless of what you end up doing always keep your goals in mind. Everyday take a step toward your goals, don’t be afraid of responsibility, and learn to quantify the unquantifiable. Be creative in every endeavor.

One More Last Day

I have worked a lot of different jobs in my rotational experience around the sun. And because each job had a starting day it also eventually came to an end providing a last day on the job. Now I never thought that I would have quite so many last days but as it turns out sustaining a musical career takes a lot of non-musical jobs. So from job to job I have weaved in and out. In this process I have learned a few things.

There is always a job to be had; it’s just a matter of whether or not you’re willing to do said task. At times it may seem that there are no jobs anywhere but the truth is you just gotta get down and dirty or creative in how you’re looking or simply what you’re looking for. Don’t be afraid to do anything to accomplish a life goal.

The one most important thing that I've learned in my many and various jobs is the process of learning. As much as we take learning for granted because it is very much a part of nature and happens almost seamlessly for most; it couldn't be more overstated that we need to continue to understand the process of learning within ourselves and work to improve our ability to learn quickly. We need to work on the skills that cannot be quantified by tests and resumés (i.e., social interaction, work ethic, adaptability, etc.). The technical knowledge in any job can be learned by anyone simply because 1+1=2, but a horrible work-ethic plus an anti-social personality does not equate to a marketable or hirable employee.

Especially as drummers and percussionists, we are not likely to have a career where we are at the top of the hiring tier. Mainly we will most likely be working for someone else as a session musician, hired side-man for tour, or in a band with other musicians so it is important for us to be fully aware of how we interact with everyone around us. Basically, every step you take should be toward being a better person and learning as much as you can. There is an infinite amount of knowledge to be had especially in the realm of drums and percussion.

“I am doing everything I possibly can to achieve my goals every single day, for if I die tomorrow I will have no regrets.” This is something I think long and hard about almost every day. I constantly focus and re-focus on what I’m doing and where I’m headed because life has a tendency to throw curves at you and if you don’t pay attention those curves can send you sailing in a completely different direction than where you want to be. Not to say I don’t take those changes in stride and incorporate new information into my current plan, but I have a vision of where I want to be.

Although the last day at this internship will not likely be my final last day, if I cease to exist tomorrow I will know that I have done everything within my power to get accomplish my goals and earn a little bit of happiness. Thanks for the opportunities. Here’s to the future, come what may!