Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Value of Impermanence

Beautiful idea. Everyone together working as individuals create this space that over time becomes one and at the end it all gets painted over and ends. Beautiful idea.

Value of Impermanence


Beautiful idea. Everyone together working as individuals create this space that over time becomes one and at the end it all gets painted over and ends.  Beautiful idea.





Friday, August 17, 2012

Dreams

It's no wonder that it's hard to leave old feelings behind. How a simple dream can bring back so many emotions, frustrations of being lost in an oblivion of fear and doubt. What is right is wrong anymore.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Tattoos and Life

I've been seeing a lot more these days of people trying to make the work-place more accepting of tattoos. Although I do believe that this is an honorable cause I think that I prefer to make the Job or money making scheme fit the tattoos that I choose to get. I don't feel that limiting ones decisions or creative outlet is a proper way to make a living or more so a life.

Most would say that this is a decision that I would regret because I won't be able to get a proper job. I'll leave the proper jobs to those that want/need them. I'm perfectly happy performing tasks that the average person these days is unhappy doing. And by average I quite honestly mean lazy and unmotivated. Since I was 14 years old I have been performing physical tasks for work such as landscaping, washing dishes, running backstage at a theatre. Sure there have been many jobs that were immobile and sedentary at a desk, those were the ones that I hated the most and were the hardest to go to on a daily basis.

But at this point in time, this job is one that I cannot just discard by the wayside like so many others have been. I must find a balance that will allow me to continue forward making the money necessary to perform the tasks that I've set forth. Unfortunately there is only a choice of all or nothing, if the tasks can't be be achieved then all of the work, effort, sweat, blood, and tears will have been for nothing. So it comes down to 10 months of hard work. If I can just put my head down and trudge through these last few tasks, they are and will be by far the hardest so far, I can make it to the other side Graduated with a trip to Italy in tow for a small bit of relaxing along with some final studying.

Work, Practice, Exercise, and Studying are the only tasks on the list for the next 10 months. Obviously there are things that need to be done and thought about along the way but each one has its time and place. I leave you with this quote which is my focus for this year, this time in my life with so much to do....so much to gain.

"Do what has to be done, when it has to be done, as well as it can be done, and do it that way every time." - Philip Toshio Sudo

Thursday, June 28, 2012

What does it mean, where does it go?

Love. As far as I'm concerned I have no idea what this word means. I once thought that I understood the meaning of this word/idea. But as I get older I'm shown that what I thought is in fact wrong/incorrect or just down right opposite of what I once thought.

Where can it go from here? I'm trying hard not to become cynical but the so called "relationship" part of my life seems so superficial and a waste of energy. I'm also trying to accept a different perspective on this issue, perhaps the way that I see it won't work for me. Always open to outside opinions and perspectives because there are more than a few.

What Hollywood and stories have set as a "standard" of sorts is complete and quite obviously fantastical and not what it really is all about. But what is it really all about and how does it work? These are questions that no one can answer but myself, but at this turning point in the road I have no idea even where to go. the path seems to be hidden from me, perhaps there's a haze covering the answer. But as this entry comes to a close because there are no answers to these questions yet, I leave you with a few words of wisdom and hopefully guidelines by which I will be able to define this path.


Thursday, June 21, 2012

Perception changes

What if what I thought was impossible was actually possible and to achieve that seemingly impossible task was simply a change of perception? What does it take to change the way you see something? In the past for me it's taken drastic often dramatic changes to force a perception change.

What if, instead of taking drastic changes as I have in the past to force a change, I simply ride it out and see this through to the end. So much is at stake here and is riding on the simple task of riding this wave through the next year. It's only a year and in the grand scheme of the universe and our role in it is not that much time. The reasons I usually steer away from long drawn out options like this is because I always have time ticking away at me, I feel as if every second not being productive or moving forward is time wasted away. I forget that for progress forward often times we need to hold course and maintain heading until there's a need to change the sails. Too many quick movements will take the wind out of your sails just as quickly as changing course without looking ahead.

I do believe that it's time to maintain this heading and forge ahead for the best outcome whether the storm surges or not it's time to hold fast, batten down the hatches, and ride it through to the end. The end is so near I can almost taste the fresh water and the freedom of life washing over my feet. This is definitely the calm before the storm, even though it may seem that the storm is already run it's course...the toughest times have yet to come. The greatest test of strength, will, and determination and will change me forever.

Remember to take time to listen to the silence, the space between the notes/life is just as important as the notes themselves.

I leave you with this video of JoJo Mayer talking at a TED conference about playing differences between humans and machines. Remember that we have the ability to play in the gaps that machines will never be able to, that's what makes music truly unique and wonderful.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Security is a Joke

I've never felt more insecure about my position in life than I do right now. Never quite felt this level of confusion so either I'm doing something completely right or I'm doing something completely wrong. Either way will be a learning experience. Taking it back to the days of long nights, short sleeps, and early work mornings.

Personal relationships are the first to suffer, holding on to the few that really make a difference along the way. At this point, there's nothing more important than the process. Must maintain a level of sanity a connection to the universe around me. I used to feel it on a daily basis but now only periodically through random passing glimpses.

Don't let the Iron Gate hit you on the ass on your way out. Let's do some work and prove some people wrong but more importantly prove myself right once and for all.