Now that I’ve had a moment to process all that has come to
pass in the last year, or so, and more importantly moved, yet again, I can now
begin…again.
2014 was a very productive, seductive, and hurtful year. As
life continually proves balance is inevitable for each positive there is a
negative. This year has been no exception, given the negatives were created by
my selfish nature; the positives have been almost enough to counterbalance.
After moving half way across the country to pursue my
potential in the “business” side of music as the Percussive Art Society’s
spring intern, I’ve come to realize that making sound financial decisions is
completely and utterly the opposite of making decisions that promote happiness
and to pursue dreams, as I had learned once before but the memory must have
strayed from me. Although sometimes necessary, I believe whole-heartedly that
we should strive to make decisions in life that promote our own happiness and
allow us to open up to new possibilities. But instead I took a year long detour
through the bowels of Indianapolis that have led me to where I should have
started the last year, in the arms of my darling Madison in Orlando, Florida.
As in true Mahola P. Willikers fashion, I worked to make the
best of my situation. I did a lot of writing and a bit of practicing. But it
was the things I did on the side that made such a negative impact on the year.
My girlfriend was nice enough to move to Indianapolis with me, thinking she was getting into a trusting truthful relationship, I proved her wrong....and am working diligently to repair. These days I seem to have built an
air of distrust between us and am working diligently to mend that bond, but as
we all know trust is one of those bridges that is hardest to rebuild. After
moving in, she came to realize some of the things I had done, or thought about
doing and needless to say we had our negative moments.
What made this year even more difficult to endure was that I
got to participate not once, but twice in one of my life’s dreams. I got to go
on tour both in the United States and in Europe with Lindsey Stirling as a
stage/video technician. I had some
indescribable experiences and made lots of new friends that I hope to see again
on the next tour. But again, my selfish nature got the best of me and I started
acting like someone else, not realizing who I had at home and what she was
going through (what turned out to be one of the most difficult times in our
lives).
Returning to Indianapolis, I was a different person.
Different on the inside, somewhat different on the outside, but what I couldn’t
explain to Madison was that after visiting sixteen countries, over ten hours of
flight time, a few days of walking in New York City, and over twenty hours
spent on a Greyhound bus that my heart had found its home; not in Indianapolis
but in her arms. The catch is that we had made plans to move back to Orlando to
where she would be happier, and that we would only have a handful of days
together before we were torn apart once again.
Another part of 2014 that is both a complete positive and a negative
is that I went and got a job doing something I never thought I would have the
opportunity to do. After my internship came to an end in July I was faced, yet
again, with the dilemma of finding work. One day Madison picked me up from work
and on the way home I saw four horse drawn carriages on the road at the same
time. I said, “I’ve always wanted to do that, just was never sure how to get
into it.” The next day I called that company and it turns out that Yellow Rose
Carriages is located just two blocks from my apartment. After an interview and
an initial ride-along. I was neck deep in training how to be a carriage driver.
Although I grew up with horses and animals of all kinds driving
one attached to a carriage in downtown traffic and distractions is another
story all together. You can’t imagine the level of stress that carriage drivers
put up with simply knowing that their horses might get spooked by a plastic bag
passing serenely in the night and all we can do is hold on tight. The truth of
the matter is that I set out to do something I wasn’t sure that I could do, and
I did it well enough to the point that when it was time to leave the company
didn’t want me to depart. Once again a very positive powerful experience
counterbalanced by a very stressful and painful one. To hold true to my word I
finished out the remainder of the year in the Indianapolis cold driving horses
through the holiday season. Although I had already moved Madison to a much
warmer Orlando, I had to fly back to a mostly empty apartment and endure the
cold for a few more weeks.
Now that I’ve finished the year, I’m saddened to leave some
of the people and the horses behind, stressed to be looking for work and having
to purchase a car once again, but mostly I’m happy. I’m happy to be with my two
girls Madison and Minnie (our dog) once again, happy that I can step outside in
sandals, shorts, and a t-shirt comfortably, happy to be pushing onward toward a
new beginning. Although nothing in the past is forgotten, I can do better. I
don’t know who I’ve become but its about to change, again.
I have reached the horizon and I can see more than ever
before,
But the next horizon breeds ample opportunity.
I stand at the top of the mountain and look beyond the peaks
and valleys
I see a wall, a challenge of inner determination.
The wall in front of me is merely a step,
A step in which I need to grow exponentially to take in
stride.
Let the work begin, again.
