Beautiful idea. Everyone together working as individuals create this space that over time becomes one and at the end it all gets painted over and ends. Beautiful idea.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Value of Impermanence
Beautiful idea. Everyone together working as individuals create this space that over time becomes one and at the end it all gets painted over and ends. Beautiful idea.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Dreams
It's no wonder that it's hard to leave old feelings behind. How a simple dream can bring back so many emotions, frustrations of being lost in an oblivion of fear and doubt. What is right is wrong anymore.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Tattoos and Life
I've been seeing a lot more these days of people trying to make the work-place more accepting of tattoos. Although I do believe that this is an honorable cause I think that I prefer to make the Job or money making scheme fit the tattoos that I choose to get. I don't feel that limiting ones decisions or creative outlet is a proper way to make a living or more so a life.
Most would say that this is a decision that I would regret because I won't be able to get a proper job. I'll leave the proper jobs to those that want/need them. I'm perfectly happy performing tasks that the average person these days is unhappy doing. And by average I quite honestly mean lazy and unmotivated. Since I was 14 years old I have been performing physical tasks for work such as landscaping, washing dishes, running backstage at a theatre. Sure there have been many jobs that were immobile and sedentary at a desk, those were the ones that I hated the most and were the hardest to go to on a daily basis.
But at this point in time, this job is one that I cannot just discard by the wayside like so many others have been. I must find a balance that will allow me to continue forward making the money necessary to perform the tasks that I've set forth. Unfortunately there is only a choice of all or nothing, if the tasks can't be be achieved then all of the work, effort, sweat, blood, and tears will have been for nothing. So it comes down to 10 months of hard work. If I can just put my head down and trudge through these last few tasks, they are and will be by far the hardest so far, I can make it to the other side Graduated with a trip to Italy in tow for a small bit of relaxing along with some final studying.
Work, Practice, Exercise, and Studying are the only tasks on the list for the next 10 months. Obviously there are things that need to be done and thought about along the way but each one has its time and place. I leave you with this quote which is my focus for this year, this time in my life with so much to do....so much to gain.
"Do what has to be done, when it has to be done, as well as it can be done, and do it that way every time." - Philip Toshio Sudo
Most would say that this is a decision that I would regret because I won't be able to get a proper job. I'll leave the proper jobs to those that want/need them. I'm perfectly happy performing tasks that the average person these days is unhappy doing. And by average I quite honestly mean lazy and unmotivated. Since I was 14 years old I have been performing physical tasks for work such as landscaping, washing dishes, running backstage at a theatre. Sure there have been many jobs that were immobile and sedentary at a desk, those were the ones that I hated the most and were the hardest to go to on a daily basis.
But at this point in time, this job is one that I cannot just discard by the wayside like so many others have been. I must find a balance that will allow me to continue forward making the money necessary to perform the tasks that I've set forth. Unfortunately there is only a choice of all or nothing, if the tasks can't be be achieved then all of the work, effort, sweat, blood, and tears will have been for nothing. So it comes down to 10 months of hard work. If I can just put my head down and trudge through these last few tasks, they are and will be by far the hardest so far, I can make it to the other side Graduated with a trip to Italy in tow for a small bit of relaxing along with some final studying.
Work, Practice, Exercise, and Studying are the only tasks on the list for the next 10 months. Obviously there are things that need to be done and thought about along the way but each one has its time and place. I leave you with this quote which is my focus for this year, this time in my life with so much to do....so much to gain.
"Do what has to be done, when it has to be done, as well as it can be done, and do it that way every time." - Philip Toshio Sudo
Thursday, June 28, 2012
What does it mean, where does it go?
Love. As far as I'm concerned I have no idea what this word means. I once thought that I understood the meaning of this word/idea. But as I get older I'm shown that what I thought is in fact wrong/incorrect or just down right opposite of what I once thought.
Where can it go from here? I'm trying hard not to become cynical but the so called "relationship" part of my life seems so superficial and a waste of energy. I'm also trying to accept a different perspective on this issue, perhaps the way that I see it won't work for me. Always open to outside opinions and perspectives because there are more than a few.
What Hollywood and stories have set as a "standard" of sorts is complete and quite obviously fantastical and not what it really is all about. But what is it really all about and how does it work? These are questions that no one can answer but myself, but at this turning point in the road I have no idea even where to go. the path seems to be hidden from me, perhaps there's a haze covering the answer. But as this entry comes to a close because there are no answers to these questions yet, I leave you with a few words of wisdom and hopefully guidelines by which I will be able to define this path.
What Hollywood and stories have set as a "standard" of sorts is complete and quite obviously fantastical and not what it really is all about. But what is it really all about and how does it work? These are questions that no one can answer but myself, but at this turning point in the road I have no idea even where to go. the path seems to be hidden from me, perhaps there's a haze covering the answer. But as this entry comes to a close because there are no answers to these questions yet, I leave you with a few words of wisdom and hopefully guidelines by which I will be able to define this path.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Perception changes
What if what I thought was impossible was actually possible and to achieve that seemingly impossible task was simply a change of perception? What does it take to change the way you see something? In the past for me it's taken drastic often dramatic changes to force a perception change.
What if, instead of taking drastic changes as I have in the past to force a change, I simply ride it out and see this through to the end. So much is at stake here and is riding on the simple task of riding this wave through the next year. It's only a year and in the grand scheme of the universe and our role in it is not that much time. The reasons I usually steer away from long drawn out options like this is because I always have time ticking away at me, I feel as if every second not being productive or moving forward is time wasted away. I forget that for progress forward often times we need to hold course and maintain heading until there's a need to change the sails. Too many quick movements will take the wind out of your sails just as quickly as changing course without looking ahead.
I do believe that it's time to maintain this heading and forge ahead for the best outcome whether the storm surges or not it's time to hold fast, batten down the hatches, and ride it through to the end. The end is so near I can almost taste the fresh water and the freedom of life washing over my feet. This is definitely the calm before the storm, even though it may seem that the storm is already run it's course...the toughest times have yet to come. The greatest test of strength, will, and determination and will change me forever.
Remember to take time to listen to the silence, the space between the notes/life is just as important as the notes themselves.
I leave you with this video of JoJo Mayer talking at a TED conference about playing differences between humans and machines. Remember that we have the ability to play in the gaps that machines will never be able to, that's what makes music truly unique and wonderful.
What if, instead of taking drastic changes as I have in the past to force a change, I simply ride it out and see this through to the end. So much is at stake here and is riding on the simple task of riding this wave through the next year. It's only a year and in the grand scheme of the universe and our role in it is not that much time. The reasons I usually steer away from long drawn out options like this is because I always have time ticking away at me, I feel as if every second not being productive or moving forward is time wasted away. I forget that for progress forward often times we need to hold course and maintain heading until there's a need to change the sails. Too many quick movements will take the wind out of your sails just as quickly as changing course without looking ahead.
I do believe that it's time to maintain this heading and forge ahead for the best outcome whether the storm surges or not it's time to hold fast, batten down the hatches, and ride it through to the end. The end is so near I can almost taste the fresh water and the freedom of life washing over my feet. This is definitely the calm before the storm, even though it may seem that the storm is already run it's course...the toughest times have yet to come. The greatest test of strength, will, and determination and will change me forever.
Remember to take time to listen to the silence, the space between the notes/life is just as important as the notes themselves.
I leave you with this video of JoJo Mayer talking at a TED conference about playing differences between humans and machines. Remember that we have the ability to play in the gaps that machines will never be able to, that's what makes music truly unique and wonderful.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Security is a Joke
I've never felt more insecure about my position in life than I do right now. Never quite felt this level of confusion so either I'm doing something completely right or I'm doing something completely wrong. Either way will be a learning experience. Taking it back to the days of long nights, short sleeps, and early work mornings.
Personal relationships are the first to suffer, holding on to the few that really make a difference along the way. At this point, there's nothing more important than the process. Must maintain a level of sanity a connection to the universe around me. I used to feel it on a daily basis but now only periodically through random passing glimpses.
Don't let the Iron Gate hit you on the ass on your way out. Let's do some work and prove some people wrong but more importantly prove myself right once and for all.
Personal relationships are the first to suffer, holding on to the few that really make a difference along the way. At this point, there's nothing more important than the process. Must maintain a level of sanity a connection to the universe around me. I used to feel it on a daily basis but now only periodically through random passing glimpses.
Don't let the Iron Gate hit you on the ass on your way out. Let's do some work and prove some people wrong but more importantly prove myself right once and for all.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Recital
Hello there all. I'm going to be creating a blog specifically for my Recital coming the Fall of 2012. Feel free to follow along but my main purpose is to keep myself on task each and everyday. Like some I need a bit of a self-check from time to time and with such a specific timeline for this event I want to make sure that I hit every deadline to its full potential.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Life Long Path
I'm not sure that many people think about life this way, perhaps more than I know. But I see my life and the process of getting through it kind of like drumming or getting tattooed because both to me are life long processes.
Learning to drum you have to start out slow and steady, learning little by little and perfecting each task before moving on to the next. The first series of tasks are fairly easy to get through but then you reach a barrier that seems insurmountable. But with practice and continuous dedication we eventually work through it and have a new skill to put in our bag of tricks. Along the way I like to mark my path, to remind me of where I've been and hopefully where I'm headed. Kind of like a trail of bread crumbs, I get tattoos. Each one marks a time in my life that was or is significant. I'm not the kind of fool to run out and just cover my body because I can. Every tattoo is well thought/planned out. Although some have been covered over the years I don't regret a single one, always adding to create something new.
In both life and drumming there is always something new to learn, if you think you've learned everything you can...look again. I strive to learning something new every single day. There are many days that go by where it feels like no momentum is being gained but then when you stop to reminisce and realize where you've come from it's nice to see some progress. Life itself is a life long process. I'm sure to some this seems obvious but how many people do you know that have lived the perfect lives without any mistakes?
It takes time to figure things out, for some longer than others. I intend to spend the rest of my life working on the process of Life and Drumming and marking along the way with tattoos, if nothing else to add some color to my life. Here's to a Life full of Drumming and colorful Tattoos. :)
Learning to drum you have to start out slow and steady, learning little by little and perfecting each task before moving on to the next. The first series of tasks are fairly easy to get through but then you reach a barrier that seems insurmountable. But with practice and continuous dedication we eventually work through it and have a new skill to put in our bag of tricks. Along the way I like to mark my path, to remind me of where I've been and hopefully where I'm headed. Kind of like a trail of bread crumbs, I get tattoos. Each one marks a time in my life that was or is significant. I'm not the kind of fool to run out and just cover my body because I can. Every tattoo is well thought/planned out. Although some have been covered over the years I don't regret a single one, always adding to create something new.
In both life and drumming there is always something new to learn, if you think you've learned everything you can...look again. I strive to learning something new every single day. There are many days that go by where it feels like no momentum is being gained but then when you stop to reminisce and realize where you've come from it's nice to see some progress. Life itself is a life long process. I'm sure to some this seems obvious but how many people do you know that have lived the perfect lives without any mistakes?
It takes time to figure things out, for some longer than others. I intend to spend the rest of my life working on the process of Life and Drumming and marking along the way with tattoos, if nothing else to add some color to my life. Here's to a Life full of Drumming and colorful Tattoos. :)
Friday, March 9, 2012
My Friend The Moon
We meet again, my friend, in the depth of the evening rounding out another day. Where the beginning ends and the end begins I see you watching over, blanketing with light, everything. Endless nights we've spent together walking alongside each other, but always in good company. When questions are raised you seem to have the answer without spouting one word of advise or intellect. Basking in the pale light of your reflection I've come to know this path.
Sometimes I just need a little inspiration. Seems odd considering I'm surrounded by inspired music and creativity all day everyday. But the compositions of those passed have less bearing in today's society. It's time for something new, the ideas are streaming in. Time to accumulate the proper tools to tip the scales.
It's quite amazing what just a bit of inspiration can do. It can send me on a creative spree for days, weeks, even months at times. But alas the lack of inspiration or more specifically those who insist on stifling creativity can do so much harm. Life would be different if I/we were able to be creative to our full potential.
Sometimes I just need a little inspiration. Seems odd considering I'm surrounded by inspired music and creativity all day everyday. But the compositions of those passed have less bearing in today's society. It's time for something new, the ideas are streaming in. Time to accumulate the proper tools to tip the scales.
It's quite amazing what just a bit of inspiration can do. It can send me on a creative spree for days, weeks, even months at times. But alas the lack of inspiration or more specifically those who insist on stifling creativity can do so much harm. Life would be different if I/we were able to be creative to our full potential.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Be True to You
Source: lockerz.com via Sam on Pinterest
The truth. To those who doubt what I'm capable of (including the inner ego), you're about to be proven wrong in every way. I'm going to do what I feel is right and what I need to be happy and achieve my dreams. Time to redefine some standards. The rest of you can do it the way it's "supposed" to be done or has been done for centuries, I'm here to do it my own way. Perhaps harder in the long run but it will be my own path in every way.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Dreams
What are you willing to sacrifice for your dreams? I thought up until just today that I knew the answer to this question but when you're bombarded with possibilities never before conceived it makes it a bit harder to define these lines. What if your dreams are socially or even morally unaccepted by our current society? Do you still do whatever it takes to achieve them or do you make compromises along the way and end up somewhere on the other side of nowhere-ville face down in your own unhappiness? Or do you run out and take every chance you get to meet these challenges head on to overcome them?
I ask these questions because I've had an updated vision to my dream. As I do I'm constantly moving toward one dream or another. But along the way as I get older those dreams change not because of compromise but because the spiritual waves of the world pry their way into my thoughts and wash away the old dreams but left behind are the new upgraded dreams. Still following my original path but more like a v2.0, still maintaining the structure but updating some of the social standards and beginning to work against some of these.
At this point I can't tell you what my dream is but I can tell you that it goes against most of what society says is appropriate or acceptable, thus why I'm having this moment of doubt before I jump in and take it by the reigns. Into the unknown we go. Fearless and powerful.
I ask these questions because I've had an updated vision to my dream. As I do I'm constantly moving toward one dream or another. But along the way as I get older those dreams change not because of compromise but because the spiritual waves of the world pry their way into my thoughts and wash away the old dreams but left behind are the new upgraded dreams. Still following my original path but more like a v2.0, still maintaining the structure but updating some of the social standards and beginning to work against some of these.
At this point I can't tell you what my dream is but I can tell you that it goes against most of what society says is appropriate or acceptable, thus why I'm having this moment of doubt before I jump in and take it by the reigns. Into the unknown we go. Fearless and powerful.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
What do we do with the empty space when Hope is gone?
I remember of the time that I used to look out the window and just simply dream about what could be, what's to come, the potential of a boundless world.
I used to go to school semi-unwillingly just to get past it so I could get started with my life. I always thought that this time, now, would be the time for me to run and take care of the responsibilities that have been self imposed and to live the life that used to scramble across my brain trying to find it's footing as an overly hyperactive teenager. Why is it now that my ability to follow through has dwindled like the light from a fading sunset? I seem to be fading into the background completely unable to attain the potential that has been set out for me; my biggest fear realized, that I may live the rest of my life without ever being known or heard as a musician. What can I do?
The sad part is that I do know what needs to be done but just can't seem to make it happen. I'm not dumb, I know what and how to do the things that will make my life better and get me ahead. Is it a sin to know the truth but not to follow it? Most days I hate this process, but I do it all for those few days in which I fully envelope myself into music. As it is my life is a love hate relationship, when I do love it's wholly with my entire soul, there are only a few days in my entire life that I truly could or would hate anything or anyone but when I do it engulfs me. Today is one of those that I hate everything there is about my life, I don't understand why I do the things I do.
But what I do know is that, as there always has been, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. The big question I ask myself is, how do I keep from trudging through that tunnel ever again? Why can't I just live in the light instead of always searching for it?
I used to go to school semi-unwillingly just to get past it so I could get started with my life. I always thought that this time, now, would be the time for me to run and take care of the responsibilities that have been self imposed and to live the life that used to scramble across my brain trying to find it's footing as an overly hyperactive teenager. Why is it now that my ability to follow through has dwindled like the light from a fading sunset? I seem to be fading into the background completely unable to attain the potential that has been set out for me; my biggest fear realized, that I may live the rest of my life without ever being known or heard as a musician. What can I do?
The sad part is that I do know what needs to be done but just can't seem to make it happen. I'm not dumb, I know what and how to do the things that will make my life better and get me ahead. Is it a sin to know the truth but not to follow it? Most days I hate this process, but I do it all for those few days in which I fully envelope myself into music. As it is my life is a love hate relationship, when I do love it's wholly with my entire soul, there are only a few days in my entire life that I truly could or would hate anything or anyone but when I do it engulfs me. Today is one of those that I hate everything there is about my life, I don't understand why I do the things I do.
But what I do know is that, as there always has been, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. The big question I ask myself is, how do I keep from trudging through that tunnel ever again? Why can't I just live in the light instead of always searching for it?
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