This question has been asked a lot lately by people in passsing, aquaintances, friends, people I know through slight interaction. And they all ask in passing if everything is ok, how are you? But I get the disturbing feeling that none of them truly mean in.
So many people in this world are willing to offer up help in the form of words but when it truly comes down to the necessity of an action, they're nowhere to be found. How is it that anyone is supposed to succeed in this world if the only way to truly succeed is through higher education (College) but only those who go to college can afford to or have family to support them through it.
I'm getting the distinct feeling that someone or something in the universe doesn't want me to go through school and get close to succeeding. Does this mean that I'm closer to what I'm meant to do and the evils of the world are trying to keep me from it or does this mean that I'm just simply walking down the wrong path? All I do know is that I can't financially or emotionally afford to continue down the same path anymore. Something has to give and not having a place to live is a big incentive to sell everything I have to stay afloat and figure something out elsewhere. I can't help but think though that this is just another obstacle or hurdle to jump over to get to my end goal. Which raises the question how far beyond the limits of sanity are we willing to venture before it's too late or before we succeed in our goals?
Just a few of the many thoughts and reactions I've had over the past few weeks/months of digging deeper and deeper, trying to do the right thing and continue along the only path that seems worthy of my skills, passions and desires. I've come so far already. I can almost taste the end, but every step I take ends up putting me two steps backward and last time I checked the best motion toward a goal is forward not backward.
