The Feeling

When you hold me it's as if it's meant to be, it's as if it means something. All my worries disappear and the world seems to open up. It feels right, my creativity has sky rocketed in the last few days being away. I feel more calm more in touch with the world around me, ready to take on anything. This surprises me because it's been so long and so much has take place, but if it's mean to be it will be.

I am patient and have lots to do, as well as you. But I do crave that feeling, that warmth, that softness that is all encompassing. I wish for it, but all I can do is focus on the tasks at hand and wait and see.

When you hold me, it means something.

The Path

Through all of the learning that I've done so far in life, the most important thing I've discovered for myself....find your own path.

Watching so many people in the world fight, kill and ultimately destroy over simple ideas that the worlds religions are based on. In studying the general ideas of these religions or belief systems that the majority of the world follow I've come to learn that they all are based on similar basic ideals.

The overall general theme, whether it be enlightenment in life or after death they all have the same goal, Spiritual Enlightenment. What I've come to understand and is the reason for writing this today is that all of the religions and all of the beliefs in the world mean nothing if you can't find your own path. Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad....all found their own way. These people, who in fact were at one point or another just people, have set out their path before you to help you on your journey. We can not walk the same path of another and achieve the same experience, be sure to find and walk your own path but remember those who have come before and learn from those before you, take in stride the teachings of everyone but most importantly learn and make choices for yourself. Stand on the shoulders of your teachers.

Find your own path and walk it.

There's a Reason for it.

I feel as if there's something, life, the universe or maybe just my subconscious trying to tell me something. No matter what I try to do everything seems to be bad timing, even more precious because I'm a drummer, but any time I try to go out with friends or simply find a date..Nothing seems to line up. Perhaps there's a reason for me being secluded away from everything and everyone that can help me have fun or simply relax. I do believe that everything happens for a reason whether understood or not, but I'll be honest and say that it's getting frustrating this time round. Maybe I'm trying to hard.

How can I make more time for the necessary things in life...balance. I need to balance my heart, my mind and my soul without this there's nothing.

I am a contradiction in terms.

It's time to reset. For a moment or two I've lapsed in judgment. I've been drawn to you without rhyme or reason, not sure of my pursuance or need for persistence. Living so close yet so far away it seems as though we're in different galaxies. The universe draws me in different directions for different reasons, mostly for unclear reasons. Honesty is the only release for me at this point in my life, nothing else can satisfy.

I realize that I'm paddling upstream, but a little bit of trust and faith on your side can create such a wonderful, positive motion forward. Bad timing seems to be the bane of my existence, always coming in at the most inopportune time when you're trying to finalize, I'm working on initializing!

My denial of the word "can't" forces me to create abstract worlds where literally anything is possible. Why I can't decipher the difference is baffling to me, setting myself up for disappointment in the most painful ways. This, contradicting my overall philosophy of not setting up expectations?